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 I interviewed Slender

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Demigod Conduit of Administrative Awesome
Demigod Conduit of Administrative Awesome

Posts : 1021
Join date : 2012-03-18
Age : 25
Location : Poking around the internet

Character sheet
Characters: Ophelia Ford, Thomas Ellis, Simone Cowell

PostSubject: I interviewed Slender   Mon Apr 08, 2013 2:03 pm

So. This may seem absurd to you. But it isn't. The Slender Man is a real creature. Don't ask for photo ID proof of the incident. The dude doesn't work well around technology, apparently. I tried to bring my laptop around him to type out my questions, but it crashed every damn time I tried. Toshiba was unable to provide a suitable reason for the crashes, but I didn't need one. I already knew what caused the system crash. The Slender Man had come. The following are a small pile of questions I asked the Slender Man, which he answered by writing them down on a good old fashioned piece of paper, with a good old fashioned pencil. Apparently even pens are too high tech for him. At any rate, he can rewrite what he writes with a pencil. I'm aware of those piffling rumors that Mr. S kills everyone he meets. I have yet to die, and have spoken with him (to some degree), so I can say with some confidence that I have no trust in those rumors myself.

Me: Good evening, Mr. Slender Man. I was wondering if you would care to answer some questions I have wrote down. -gives paper and pencil, both attached to a clip board, to the Slender Man, who takes it and writes the following-

Mr. S: Why?

Me: Simple enough question I suppose. Well, let me put it this way. You are something of an urban legend to the world, to the point where many doubt your very existence. Now, I merely wanted to speak with you, and see if I can get you to answer a few questions that would shed some light on the subject.

Mr. S: -stands silent for a brief moment as I sit down in a metal folding chair, a clipboard and pencil in my own hands to take down his answers. Eventually, Mr. S writes -Ok. Ask away. But please, there are some secrets reserved solely for my people, and I will not reveal them to you, mortal, if you plan on releasing this discussion to the rest of the humans.

Me: I understand and respect your views. Merely tap on the clipboard twice with the pencil if I step onto a private matter, and I'll merely let it go, and move on to the next question. Does that seem agreeable?

Mr. S: Indeed. May we begin? The night is young, but it ages fast.

Me: Okay, first question, and it was brought about by your last comment involving secrets of your people. Are there more Slenderman, and is the term Slenderman your collective name, or your species name?

Mr. S: Yes, actually, there are many more Slenderman. The exact number is unknown by us, as we do not take a census as you humans seem to enjoy doing, but if I was to hazard a guess, I would say for every fifty five hundred thousand humans, there is but one Slenderman. As for names, we are all called Slenderman, so I suppose the answer to your question is both. However, Species is a human term, created by humans, and I will not pretend to completely understand the basics of this human creation.

Me: That certainly explains how people are reporting seeing you all over the world. So. Why are people so afraid of you? Is it due to the apparent human nature that us humans fear what we do not understand?

Mr. S: That is a question that I have tried to answer for many years now, but your reasoning seems to fit with my observations of the Human Race. Werewolves, Yeti, Vampires, Pixies, Elves. If humans do not understand the supernatural, how do they expect to understand their God, also a supernatural being? Why humans fear us Slenderman is uncertain to me, though in the case of Werewolves and Vampires, I certainly understand the reason for that. No creature enjoys the thought that they are prey.

Me: Wait, so Vampires and Werewolves exist to?

Mr. S: I believe this interview was supposed to be abut me and my people. I refuse to give out secrets that aren't mine to give. If you want answers concerning one of them, you will need to sit down to interview one of them. -taps twice on the clip board-

Me: … Understood. Moving on, do you kill humans?

Mr. S: I can't speak for every one of my people any more than you can speak for yours, but I personally do not kill humans. It is true, there are many sadistic members of my kind that enjoy, revel in the fear that they cause among your kind, but I do not. In fact, I get tired of people around me dying in sheer terror at my -here Mr. S pauses, then continues writing- My face. I do not understand it. We have the same basic features as humans, but for some reason, us not having the appendages hanging from our faces is hideous to your kind. Our kind finds those things on your face, what you call eyes and noses, and mouths and ears, to be rather disfiguring, to be honest.

Me: I see... As it is, do you have any sort of powers?

Mr. S: What are you meaning by that?

Me: Well, some accounts say that you, erm, your people, have abilities that humas do not, such as the ability to elongate your arms and torso to impossible lengths, and the ability to teleport. There are even accounts that claim that someone looking at your face can be driven mad by your mind.

Mr. S: What do you mean “driven mad”? I do not see how my face can make anyone angry, and I don't drive at all.

Me: -laughs for a brief period- Apologies. What I meant was, well, mad is another word for insane, as well as angry. It all depends on the context the word is used in, I suppose.

Mr. S: Next time, please just say insane. I have difficulty enough following and writing in your language without getting into your... slang terms. As far as your question is concerned, however, we are able to shrink and grow as we please, but we can only shrink down to certain sizes, usually around two and a half of your meters. Teleport... I'm not entirely sure what that is, but we are able to shift. We can shift into another dimension where time stands still, and walk from there to another place, and shift into this dimension with absolutely none of the time in this dimension used. Is that your definition of this teleport?

Me: Not quite, but it's pretty close. What about causing people to go insane with your mind?

Mr. S: Not sure. Most people who look at my face are dead from fear long before the idea that I can make them insane comes to mind. Would you mind too terribly if I was to try on you to find out the answer to this question?

Me: -hurriedly- no, thank you, but please don't make me bananas. -Mr S tilts his head- Sorry, more slang. Please don't make me insane. -Mr. S nods, then waves his hand in a go on gesture- Okay, a large portion of the mythology surrounding you, er, and your people, is that you have tentacles that grow from your back. Is this true? -Mr. S nods- May I see them?

Mr. S: If you please, I would rather not. Do you have any comprehension how much pain having something growing from the center of your back causes?

Me: no actually. Now that I think of it, that makes sense, though. Moving on, why does technology not work around you?

Mr. S: I do not know. I did not make the technology of your race. Please, ask me something I know the answers to. All these questions that I do not understand makes me feel less intelligent, and seeing as this is coming from such a youngling as yourself, it's actually rather embarrasing.

Me: I see... how old are you, anyways?

Mr. S: I am actually quite young. I would say about 360 rotations of the earth around the sun, five rotations of the moon, and 12 days.

Me: -calculates- so, this would make you 360 years old, five months, and 12 days old. I see. Are Slenderman immortal?

Mr. S: Actually, no we are not. We live much, much longer than you short lived mortals, but we are not eternal. We have watched your species grow, and have often remarked upon your progress. You seem to have finally gotten up to our level on clothing. We have been wearing tailored suits and dresses for millenia.

Me: wait wait, back up. There are Slenderwoman?

Mr. S: not as numerous as Slenderman, but yes. How else do you expect us to mate and raise Slender Children so as to keep our species going?

Me: -mumbles how this makes sense- You know, it's probably best I wrap this up, if anyone thinks of any question, I'll take them down, and ask you. Is this permissable?

Mr S: Just so long as they are not private matters. I will not discuss my bowel movements, to make an example.

Me: Whoa. I wouldn't ask for that kind of information anyways, even if someone asked for it.

Mr. S: Understood. Now I must leave. My presence is taking it's toll on your mind. -Mr. S leaves, and I return home.

As I type this out, I have a massive freaking headache, and it's hard to stay up. Right now, I just want to shut down all technology in my room, and just go to bed. In fact, I think I'll do that. Good night everyone.

-Thomas Ellis, date is 4-8-2013 at 1:30 AM

Ophelia. Neutral (+1 Karma). The Fallen Angel. Controls Tears. Single
Spartan:Thomas. Sound conduit. Deceased
Spartan:Simon Cowell. Champion(+5 Karma) Shapeshifter. Dating Marie, owner of Bar Dumort
Spartan: Ash Nukem, Neutral(+- 0 Karma), multple selves. refers to self in the pluralled person(says we instead of I a lot)Single, yet not.
Slender, Neutral (+- 0 Karma) The Slenderman. Single. Drowning Doom runaway.
Teddy Riggs, Neutral (+- 0 Karma). The Admin. Government Agent
James Montgomery, Gaurdian (+1 Karma). Controls darkness. Drowning Doom affiliated.
Bill Williamson, Neutral (+- 0 Karma), Mist Powers. Drowning Doom victim
"Doviculus," Neutral (+-0 Karma), First Sons Experiment gone wrong.
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I interviewed Slender
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